mandyholbert

A glimpse into our family – the good, the bad, and, of course, the funny

Not a Wonderful Morning October 5, 2012

My sister is an amazing teacher.  She has an intuitive gift of reaching each student in the unique way that suits him.  She doesn’t just teach academics; she teaches life skills.  She teaches kids how to believe in themselves.  She is truly passionate about what she does, and I’m so proud of her.  She wrote this yesterday, and I asked her if I could share it.  You’ll see why I wanted everyone to read it.

Here is a post called “Not a Wonderful Morning” by guest blogger, my sister, Miss M:

Most of the time I write about all the wonderful parts of my job, but every day isn’t wonderful. This morning was a not wonderful morning. One of my students was having a bad, bad day. He was beyond disrespectful to all his teachers including me (usually he spares me from his disrespectful attitude). He refused to do any work at all and insisted on distracting everyone else. I could see that he was spiraling out of control. I can normally get him back on track pretty quickly but today nothing worked.

He ended up getting so mad that he walked out of my classroom (not ok!) and sat down in the hallway (at least he didn’t go far). I stood in the doorway and continued teaching my other kids while keeping an eye on my wanderer until someone was available to watch my classroom.

After several minutes (I had plenty of time to think!), help arrived. I handed over my class and went to talk to my wanderer in the hallway. He wouldn’t look at me, much less talk to me. He didn’t get up when I asked him to. He just sat there defiantly looking away.

It had been a long morning and I really just wanted to yell at him…and I don’t want to yell often. Instead, I sat down next to him. I wanted to lecture him about his horrible, disrespectful attitude. Instead, this is what I said:

I know you don’t want to talk to me right now. I know you are angry and you probably think I’m going to yell at you. Well, I’m not. I’m just going to tell you some things that I know about you. First, I know that you are smart. I know that you are kind and helpful. I know that you can be the hardest working student in my class when you want to be. I know that you can do anything in the world that you decide to do. I know that people love you. I know that the other students look up to you. I know that you are funny. I also know that I like you a lot. I know that I want you in my classroom. I know that even when we have horrible mornings, I like you anyway. I know that when you are disrespectful I am disappointed, but I understand that you are working on self-control. I know that you can be better than you have been today. And, I know that there is nothing that you can do that will make me not like you.

We sat quietly for a minute. Then, I asked him if he was ready to go back to class and do his work. He nodded yes, stood up and returned to class. His first assignment was writing in his journal. Each day he has to write at least three complete sentences. I give a writing prompt for most of the kids, but they know that can always write about whatever they want if they don’t like the prompt.

When I read this student’s journal this afternoon, the very first sentence was: “Ms. M, you make my day every day.”

It never ceases to amaze me that when I take the time to give a kid exactly what he needs to get through a situation I always end up getting exactly what I need too.

beautiful inside and out

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Better late than never… September 5, 2012

I have put this particular post off for right around twenty-five pounds.  That’s how much weight I’ve put on since last year at this time.  I’m not one to focus on the numbers – I’m just at a point now where I’m not comfortable with myself.  My clothes are too tight, my energy level is too low, and I feel unhealthy.

So, now that the kids are back in school and we’re all on a routine, I’m going to buckle down and drop these unhealthy pounds.  Blogging about it will be my virtual accountability partner.

I actually love exercising.  Ronnie and I (and my sister!) completed Insanity last year.  If you haven’t seen the infomercial, check it out.  I’m a sucker for exercise infomercials in general.  I’ve done Slim in Six, several of the Firms, a crazy version of Tae Bo, the Ten-Minute Trainer, and I bought one called Yoga Booty Ballet, but I never really could get into that one.

We have a Total Gym in the garage that would make Chuck Norris proud.  I also have a punching bag, a bicycle, a vertical knee raise machine, a jump rope, and some free weights.

I guess the point is that I’m well-equipped to go in the garage and get an intense work-out.

So, I just need to start.

And eat right.

Right now I’m a little hooked on bad food.  Okay, to be perfectly honest, my diet is just downright bad right now.  I read a book once that said that Americans are addicted to the combination of sodium, sugar, and fat that is in most of our restaurant food.  I’m guilty right now.  Time to cut the junk and detoxify my body.  I know the first couple of days will be hard, but after that I’ll feel instantly healthier.

Along with that, I need to drink water.  Yesterday, I didn’t even have a single drop of water until dinner.  That’s embarrassing since I know the consequences of not drinking water.  I know better.

I’m not going to bore everyone by writing constantly about my progress.  But, I’m going to be working on it.  Every once in a while, I’ll update you on my progress.  Twenty-five pounds took me a year to put on, and I expect it to take a little while to take back off.

Wish me luck!

 

Practical advice on managing stress June 30, 2012

While curling into a little ball and sleeping for hours a day could be therapeutic, it’s not necessarily the most practical (or healthy) method of stress management.  Besides, in real life, who has time for all that sleeping?  Part of the reason I’m stressed is I have no time for anything!  So, here’s how a real person – a working mom – handles stress on a daily basis.  Maybe not all of my ideas would be approved by my doctor, but I make it without medication, so that in itself should validate my strategies.  So, here’s the list:

1.  Exercise.  Now before you roll your eyes and quit reading, give me a chance.  There is a specific exercise that I use for stress relief, and it’s a physical and mental release.  This is a strategy I use specifically when my stress is caused by a particular person who may be especially hard to deal with or who just annoys the snot out of me and I can’t shake it off without a little assistance.  This exercise does not take long.  And you need minimal equipment.  I slip on my boxing gloves, blast an angry song, visualize whoever is bothering me, and beat my punching bag with everything in me.  This is extremely effective.

Take that you unreasonable, uncompromising, confrontational dumdum! And that! And that!

2.  Eat a gigantic bowl of ice cream.  Obviously, this one shouldn’t be implemented every time a person experiences stress, but every once in a while, it’s so healthy just to let go of all the rules and restrictions we place on ourselves and enjoy something delicious and sinful.  Relish it.  Lick the bowl when you’re finished.  Lose yourself in that ice cream.  The effects may be short-lived, but those twenty minutes of concentrating on nothing but the pure joy of that creamy frozen goodness may be all you need to refocus and let go of some of the day’s stressors.

Daintily enjoying a small portion of ice cream. Always a lady.

3.  Play.  This is a lot harder than it sounds.  When I get home from a particularly hard day, often the last thing I want to do is ignore the chores that still need to be done or my recliner or the fact that I have no idea what I’m going to prepare for dinner.  I don’t have time to play, and I don’t feel like playing.  But, you know what?  Without fail, if I make myself have fun with my kids, what starts out forced becomes fun in a matter of minutes.  The joy of kids is contagious.  They make me laugh.  When I play with them, I feel like a kid again.  When we’re finished and go inside to figure out what to eat for dinner, I do it with a fresh perspective and attitude.

Underdog!

4.  Create something.  I’m not a great artist, but sometimes when I’m feeling stressed, I pull out all the art supplies and paint something.  And to make this even better, sometimes all of us paint together.  Our little family focuses on a task.  We channel our inner artist.  We don’t worry about the mess.  And it doesn’t have to be painting – it could be anything – baking cookies or building with Legos can give the same feelings.  I think it’s the pouring yourself into something and seeing a tangible result of your efforts at the end is what relieves stress.

Ronnie built our cornhole game then the boys painted one and the girls painted the other. Can you tell which is which?

5.  Good old-fashioned hard work.  The idea here is to do something that will take exertion and absolutely wear you out.  I’ve always thought that God created us with the capability to work – I think it keeps us younger, stronger, and healthier.  Find a project and go at it.  Try to find something that stretches you so that all of your energy is focused on completing the task.  There won’t be room in that head of yours for anything else.  And when you finish, you’ll be too tired to stress about anything.  You’ll sleep well that night.  Hard work is good stuff.

6.  Be silly.  I wrote a post a few weeks ago called Why We Will Always be Okay one evening after Ronnie and I had both had particularly bad days.  Instead of talking through everything that made our days so terrible, we went outside, blasted our favorite song, and caught a jar full of lightning bugs while singing, dancing, laughing, and just letting go.  Silly?  Most adults would think so.  But who cares?  Being silly is a great thing.  Catching fireflies didn’t erase anything bad that happened to us that day, but we finished our day goofing off and letting go so we were able to start the next one refreshed and refocused.  It works.

Do we sometimes play with the kids’ toys when they are in bed? Why, yes. Yes, we do.

7.  Go on an all-expense paid vacation to a tropical paradise for at least ten days.  You know, one of those places where you just lounge in a cabana by a pool and someone massages your feet and brings your food and drinks and your whim.  One of those places where you swim with dolphins, eat dinner at a lone table right on the beach, and snorkel with tropical species of fish I’ve never even heard of…

I’ve never actually gotten to try this particular idea, but I could see where it would be extremely effective.  It is good to get away once in a while, though.

The kids playing at Myrtle Beach – not quite a tropical paradise, but fun nonetheless.

8.  Blog.  This one can get tricky because blogging can actually be a cause of stress if you allow it.  Make a concerted effort not to focus on your stats or whether you’ll ever be Freshly Pressed.  Blog because you love writing.  Because you love sharing what you write with people who enjoy reading.  And, you know, if blogging isn’t your thing, find another outlet, another hobby that you can do in your leisure time to stop you from dwelling on the daily stresses in life.  Maybe yours is running, reading, crocheting, or Zumba.  It doesn’t matter what it is.  It just matters that you enjoy it, that you take time to actually do it, and that you don’t inadvertently allow your hobby to become a source of stress itself.  Keep it light and it will be fulfilling.

Optimizing Stress

Optimizing Stress (Photo credit: cheerfulmonk)

9.  Give.  Do something for someone else.  No matter how stressed your life may seem to you, there is always someone whose problems are worse.  Think of someone going through a hard time, and do something kind for him or her.  Did your neighbor’s dog just die?  Bake him some cookies.  Is someone going through a hard time?  Write her a handwritten card of encouragement.  Putting yourself aside and focusing on the needs of someone else is almost always an effective method for stress relief.

"The Golden Rule" mosaic

“The Golden Rule” mosaic (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

10.  Make a list.  This may sound cheesy, but I guarantee it works.  Make a list of everything that you are thankful for.  If you’re feeling particularly stressed and therefore negative, you may have to start with the fact that you are alive for number one.  You have food to eat may be number two.  But the more you force yourself to list these things, the more your blessings in life will come to mind.  Your list will be long.  In fact, you’ll have to stop this exercise before you run out of things to write about.  This is about changing your mindset.  No matter how bad things may be, we can choose to focus on the positive in life.  It just helps to write it down to put things back in perspective.

Like I said in the beginning, your doctor won’t give this advice, and may not even agree with all of it.  But, stress is a real thing that almost all of us deal with.  In our quest to live a healthy, balanced, fulfilling life, we have to learn to manage this stress that somehow finds a way to infiltrate our lives despite our best efforts to keep it at bay.  These are the things that work for me.

What works for you?

 

Search That! April 10, 2012

Filed under: blogging,family,humor — mandyholbert @ 5:53 am
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

People have arrived at my blog with several very unusual Google searches.  My favorites so far are…

ugly scene kids,

march 10, 2012 mudwrestling,

i will be late to work in the morning,

snot nose babe,

girl building treehouse,

flushed tetra,

i have littered,

redneck activities in ohio,

it’s wednesday wake up and get it together, and

fake campfire.

Some of these baffle me a little bit.  What are these people thinking?  Some of them I understand a little better than others.

For instance, take “ugly scene kids” – I can imagine a frazzled mom somewhere just home from a particularly bad grocery shopping trip wondering if she’s alone in the world.  Surely, there are kids out there as bad as hers.  So she Googles it to make herself feel better.

The “march 10, 2012 mudwrestling” is a little weird.  Unless somewhere in the world there was a mudwrestling tournament that lasted several days, and some Googler somewhere missed the March 10 match and needed to know the stats.  I’m sure that’s what it was.

“I will be late to work in the morning.”  Hmmm…did this person really think this was the way to let his employer know?  Google doesn’t really work that way.  Hope he figured that out and made that all-important phone call.

“Snot nose babe” – weird.  Weird if they meant a baby, and even weirder if they meant a babe as in a swimsuit model.  I know people can have inexplicable fetishes, but snot – really?

“Redneck activities in ohio” was easy to figure out.  Obviously, a redneck from South Carolina was sitting around with his buddies and they were a little bored.  Hey, I wonder what activities rednecks participate in in Ohio?

I feel kind of bad for the person who Googled “it’s wednesday wake up and get it together.” I think he could seriously benefit from some motivational CDs, a little less alcohol, and maybe a puppy.  Hope that day turned out okay.

In the spirit of self-promotion, I am now going to write some phrases that I’m positive will be searched in the near future by some of the readers who stumbled upon my blog with the aforementioned phrases.  I am trying to build my readership, after all.  So, here’s to my newfound friends, the unusual Google searchers:

kids worse than mine

mudwrestling championship match

i won’t be at work today because i’m sick

hot actresses caught with slimy boogers hanging from nose

redneck activities in canada (I’m sure those guys have finished the fifty states by now…)

it’s friday stop being such a lazy bum get a life i need a friend or a puppy.

I can’t wait for my Googling friends to see what I’ve done to entice them to my blog.  Happy searching!

Oh, and Googling friends, once you do find me again – the surefire way to find this blog again is to follow it!