mandyholbert

A glimpse into our family – the good, the bad, and, of course, the funny

Mud Wrestling, Rabbit Chasing, Dog Carrying, and Other Redneck Activities March 10, 2012

Filed under: family,humor,pets,Silly Situations — mandyholbert @ 2:07 pm
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I’ve been pretty sick, and today is a beautiful day.  I thought it would be so nice to take my rabbits out to the garden and let them hop around.  How relaxing.

Here’s a few things you should know before you read what actually happened:

  1. The rabbits belonged to my cousins.  We have owned them for about a month, and they have been living inside our house for that time.
  2. I have been sick.
  3. Ronnie found a truck he wanted to buy.  The seller was bringing the truck to our house this morning to make sure it would pull our camper okay.
  4. I have been sick.
  5. Nickie, my sister and next-door neighbor, had a long week and planned on sleeping in and loafing on this beautiful Saturday morning.
  6. Our garden is fenced in to keep wild rabbits out and to keep our pet rabbits in.  The rabbit hutch is in the garden.
  7. I have been sick.

Okay.  Here it goes.

I put the rabbits in a box to carry them out to the garden.  Ronnie walked out with me.  Once out there, I put them in the fence thinking they would hop around and explore and wiggle their little noses and fluffy tails and just be cute.  As soon as I let them loose, the man in the truck pulled into the driveway, so Ronnie went to hook up the camper.

Everything was fine until Roxy and Zeke (our dogs) realized I had rabbits out there.  They immediately started running circles around the garden scaring those little creatures half to death.  The gray one found a hiding place and stayed put, but the black one started running and jumping and acting like it was being chased by two giant, salivating canines who wanted nothing more than to gobble it up for a snack.  Oh, wait a minute…

Anyways, the poor rabbit jumped at full speed directly into the wall of one of my planter boxes and knocked itself backwards.  It just never was the same after that.  It tried to keep running, but there was a serious and notable lack of direction in his fleeing – towards the dogs, away from the dogs – you get the idea.  Meanwhile, I can see that Zeke is finally realizing that all he has to do is jump over the fence to catch the rabbit.

I changed my strategy which was failing miserably.  Instead of trying to catch the rabbit, I left the garden to try to catch my dogs.  I got Roxy first.  She was so intent on her visions of Roasted Rabbit that she wrestled right out of the collar I was holding her by.  I had to tackle her (in the mud) and hold her in a headlock while somehow trying to catch Zeke who was seconds away from jumping the fence.  I grabbed a fistful of Zeke and dragged him over to me.  So, there I sat, covered in mud trying to hold two dogs that were still intently tracking the rabbit who had not yet slowed down.

I yelled for Ronnie to call Nickie (he did have company over, after all).  Nickie came out of her house and called Zeke.  That dumb dog almost bit me trying to get out of my death grip to pretend to go to Nickie so it could really kill my rabbit.  I think I started crying then.  (Remember, I’ve been sick.  Really sick).

To make a long story short, Nickie carried the dogs one by one up to her house to lock them on her front porch.  I went in the garden to get the black rabbit who had completely given up.  It was just lying there without moving.  It didn’t even move when I picked it up and put it away.  I would have thought it died of a heart attack if I didn’t feel his little heart still racing.

Well, here are a few more things you should know:

  1. The guy with the truck asked Ronnie if I was okay.  Ronnie said, “yeah, I’m sure she’s fine,” and kept hooking up the camper.  The guy, obviously a little bothered, pushed back a little and said, “are you sure?  I think she’s crying.”  Ronnie answered, “she just freaks out sometimes.  She’s okay.  She’s just really attached to her bunnies.”
  2. Nickie was not dressed when she was summoned to help me.  She threw on clothes and flip-flops and ended up running out the gravel drive-way barefooted to help me.  Roxy weighs over 60 pounds.  She carried her all the way home.  When she carried Zeke, he put one front paw on her shoulder and the other on her head.  He enjoyed being carried.  She got rather muddy.
  3. Nickie was a little bothered that she looked like an idiot in front of some guy she didn’t know.
  4. Our next-door neighbor, unbeknownst to me, was outside watching the whole episode unfold.

Nickie and I, once we had all the animals situated, sat and talked about how redneck and stupid we must have looked – her running around lugging huge dogs back and forth (while barefooted) and me yelling and crying and chasing rabbits and mud-wrestling dogs.  At least we didn’t know the guy with the truck!

When Ronnie and the guy got back from the test drive, Nickie and I went to check out the truck.

The guy looked at Nickie and said, “Hey!  I remember you from high school!”

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When Caught by Surprise Leave Mouth Closed: A Rather Yucky Lesson in Parenting March 5, 2012

Filed under: children,family,humor,parenting,Silly Situations — mandyholbert @ 5:25 am
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I had barf in my mouth this weekend, and it wasn’t mine.

We went to my grandma’s house in South Carolina, and that is usually tons of fun for the kids because they get to play with their cousins.  It started out just like usual with them running around having a great time.

Then, Max came and got on my lap and said he was sleepy.  I played along and let him pretend to fall asleep on me.  I soon realized he was actually sleeping and not faking.

I noticed he was getting a little warm, and I was a little concerned anyway that he was sleeping when he could be playing.  I asked him a few times when he woke up to change positions if he felt okay.  He kept saying yes.

Next thing I knew, he sat up abruptly and starting vomiting, right in my grandma’s living room.  I was very startled (so was he) and in my state of surprise, I opened my mouth wide.  That’s how I got a mouth full of what he was spitting out of his mouth.

I tried so hard to catch most of the throw-up in my hands so it wouldn’t get on the furniture.  But I realized it wasn’t going to stop any time soon.  So, Max and I made a run for outside.  He erupted twice on the way and when we made it outside, he bent over and kept spitting.  I was right beside him spitting that stuff out of my mouth.

We were covered.  Literally from head to toe.  I felt so bad for him.  He was so embarrassed and he looked so puny.  I got those nasty clothes off of him and put him in a nice warm shower.

Thankfully, my mom, aunt, and grandma cleaned up the living room for me – I don’t think it was too bad anyway since I managed to catch a large portion of it in my bare hands and all over the front of my shirt and jeans.  I had had about all the vomit I could take for a day.

When we talked about it later, one of my uncles told me he would have vomited himself if any had gotten in his mouth.

Don’t get me wrong here – I do not have a steel stomach.  I don’t like blood, vomit, poop, or snot.  But, for some reason, when my own child is sick, it just doesn’t really faze me.

I shrugged my shoulders and told him, “If he had to taste it, I guess I can too.  Besides, it tasted kind of like apple juice.”

Very, very gross apple juice.

And for anyone who is wondering about little buddy, he’s on the mend.  He’s still fighting some kind of sickness as a lot of people seem to be right now, but at least the throwing up part is over.  And, so far, I’ve managed not to catch it.  Talk about a strong immune system!