A glimpse into our family – the good, the bad, and, of course, the funny

Search That! April 10, 2012

Filed under: blogging,family,humor — mandyholbert @ 5:53 am
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People have arrived at my blog with several very unusual Google searches.  My favorites so far are…

ugly scene kids,

march 10, 2012 mudwrestling,

i will be late to work in the morning,

snot nose babe,

girl building treehouse,

flushed tetra,

i have littered,

redneck activities in ohio,

it’s wednesday wake up and get it together, and

fake campfire.

Some of these baffle me a little bit.  What are these people thinking?  Some of them I understand a little better than others.

For instance, take “ugly scene kids” – I can imagine a frazzled mom somewhere just home from a particularly bad grocery shopping trip wondering if she’s alone in the world.  Surely, there are kids out there as bad as hers.  So she Googles it to make herself feel better.

The “march 10, 2012 mudwrestling” is a little weird.  Unless somewhere in the world there was a mudwrestling tournament that lasted several days, and some Googler somewhere missed the March 10 match and needed to know the stats.  I’m sure that’s what it was.

“I will be late to work in the morning.”  Hmmm…did this person really think this was the way to let his employer know?  Google doesn’t really work that way.  Hope he figured that out and made that all-important phone call.

“Snot nose babe” – weird.  Weird if they meant a baby, and even weirder if they meant a babe as in a swimsuit model.  I know people can have inexplicable fetishes, but snot – really?

“Redneck activities in ohio” was easy to figure out.  Obviously, a redneck from South Carolina was sitting around with his buddies and they were a little bored.  Hey, I wonder what activities rednecks participate in in Ohio?

I feel kind of bad for the person who Googled “it’s wednesday wake up and get it together.” I think he could seriously benefit from some motivational CDs, a little less alcohol, and maybe a puppy.  Hope that day turned out okay.

In the spirit of self-promotion, I am now going to write some phrases that I’m positive will be searched in the near future by some of the readers who stumbled upon my blog with the aforementioned phrases.  I am trying to build my readership, after all.  So, here’s to my newfound friends, the unusual Google searchers:

kids worse than mine

mudwrestling championship match

i won’t be at work today because i’m sick

hot actresses caught with slimy boogers hanging from nose

redneck activities in canada (I’m sure those guys have finished the fifty states by now…)

it’s friday stop being such a lazy bum get a life i need a friend or a puppy.

I can’t wait for my Googling friends to see what I’ve done to entice them to my blog.  Happy searching!

Oh, and Googling friends, once you do find me again – the surefire way to find this blog again is to follow it!


Where Are the Plastic Hot Dog Buns? March 23, 2012

Filed under: children,family,parenting — mandyholbert @ 6:34 am
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I saw the saddest thing in the toy store last night.

Yes, in case you can’t tell, that is a set of plastic roasting sticks with plastic marshmallows and plastic hot dogs. How would you go about roasting these plastic campfire delicacies? Easy, with this, of course:

Yep. A plastic campfire. And where would you get the wood to burn in your plastic campfire? Oh, they’ve covered that, too. See?

What fun your children will have roasting their plastic marshmallows and plastic hot dogs over a plastic campfire for which they chopped plastic wood with a plastic ax!

Seriously?  By the time you purchase all these toys (at $19.99 each), you very  easily could have had a real campfire with your child for a fraction of the price.  And I daresay, a real campfire would be a much more memorable and engaging experience.

Really, how long can Junior sit in his bedroom holding a plastic frank on a stick over a fake fire pretending to roast it?  And how will he know when it’s done?  And when it’s done, how will he go about eating it?

I understand camping may be impractical for some families, but there is no excuse not to let your child enjoy the pure joy of a good old-fashioned campfire.  There’s just nothing like the smell of wood burning, the smoke saturating your clothes and hair, the kids gathering more sticks, the memorizing sight of the dancing flames and burning embers, and the sizzle of the hot dog drippings hitting the fire as the frank plumps and sweats on the end of the perfect roasting stick.

And don’t even get me started on S’mores!

The plastic toys didn’t only feel lazy and cheap to me.  They represent a child being robbed of an intrinsic part of growing up.  Robbed of sitting around the fire, telling stories, laughing, and bonding with family in a way that just can’t be done on the couch.  There’s just something about sitting under the stars and wondering what animals are just out of sight.  There’s something about biting into that S’more and all the gooey marshmallow oozing all over your face and fingers and your not caring because it’s dark outside anyway.

Kids need campfires.

You just can’t put them in a box and put a price on them.