mandyholbert

A glimpse into our family – the good, the bad, and, of course, the funny

A Driving Defeat July 29, 2012

We were camping last week at Lakewood Camping Resort near Myrtle Beach, SC.  It was a much-needed getaway, and we had a great time…with a few exceptions.

On the last full day we were there, the guys decided to charter a boat to go fishing on the ocean, so us girls agreed to take the kids to Ripley’s Aquarium.  I drove Ronnie’s truck, which is quite a big larger than the Honda Pilot I drive.  Anyway, I backed out of our campsite and then looked over my shoulder only to see that I had missed a tree by a fraction of an inch.  It was so close that it looked impossible that I could have missed hitting it.  We laughed about it, I made a joke about the truck being too big for me, and we headed to the aquarium.

If you’ve been to Broadway at the Beach, you know how crowded it is, and I was a little concerned about parking the truck.  I was psyched when I found a parking place on the end, and just to be sure I’d be able to get back out, I pulled in and jumped the curb so the driver’s side of the truck was in the parking slot and the passenger’s side was up on the grass.  I’ve seen Ronnie do it a thousand times.  A mountain parking job.

The aquarium was great, and when it was time to leave, I was so confident in my parking job that I backed right out, enthusiastically even.  Then I heard a big smack.  I stopped the truck right away, realizing that I had managed to hit a tree with Ronnie’s side-view mirror.  I jumped out, gathered up the parts of the truck that were scattered around, made an ugly face at the woman who ran over and watched me clean up while she was babbling on in a language I couldn’t understand, and made the phone call to tell Ronnie before anyone else could.

not too bad…

He handled the news very well, as I knew he would, but it was pretty embarrassing to have to ride in that truck for the rest of the trip with the mirror taped back on with electrical tape.  Oh, well!

at least the mirror itself didn’t break, so I should avoid seven years of bad luck…

I don’t think I’ll be driving the truck for a while…

I don’t always mess up, though…remember this one?  Driving Victory

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Driving Victory April 14, 2012

Filed under: Arguments,family,humor,parenting — mandyholbert @ 7:55 pm
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I’m not the world’s best driver; I’ll readily admit that.  I usually consider the yellow lines more of a suggestion than a rule.  The speed limit is more advice than the law.  I’m more of a creative kind of driver.

My husband, on the other hand, is a total show-off.  He can drive down a curvy hill in the dark at full speed all while in reverse.  He can squeeze through the tightest spots that make me cringe because I think we’re sure to lose a side-view mirror.  Ronnie is the complete opposite of me – he is a very talented driver.

And it drives me crazy.

When we went to eat the other night at our favorite Mexican restaurant, there were no available parking slots.  There was, however, a space between the dumpster and another car that someone could feasibly park in if they were willing to back in the very tight spot.

I was driving.  Ronnie told me to park there, so I did what I always do.  I told him to steer and I closed my eyes and operated the pedals.  Once we were through the hairy part, I took the wheel back and finished backing in.  There was a concrete retaining wall back there.

Ronnie sometimes overreacts when I’m driving.  I don’t understand why.  Anyways, as I was finishing backing in, he all of a sudden looks over at me with bugged out eyes and snapped, “There’s a wall back there!  Stop!”

So, I naturally went a little farther and then stopped.

We got out, and here’s what we saw:

He swore I hit the wall.  I was sure I didn’t.  Well, actually, I was pretty sure I probably did, but I didn’t want to admit that I should have stopped when he told me to with his goofy bugged out eyes.  He could have told me more politely.  Like, “Dear, please stop reversing as there is a wall back there that I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you in any way.”  That would have been much nicer.

We had to get on our hands and knees to determine whether I hit it.  And HA! I didn’t hit it!

See that tiny gap?  That was talent if I ever saw it!  It was enough room for me to slide a piece of paper between my car and the wall, which I happily did as my symbol of victory.

Don’t tell my husband, but I honestly had absolutely no idea that the wall was even back there.  I don’t know how in the world I didn’t hit it, but the point is that I didn’t!  As far as I’m concerned, I couldn’t have maneuvered more precisely if I tried!

Who’s the good driver now?!

 

What’s for Dinner? March 19, 2012

Filed under: children,family,humor,parenting — mandyholbert @ 7:02 pm
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Here’s another recycled incident from when the kids were a little younger…

My children are truly wonderful and well-behaved. They are clever, funny, and sweet. They constantly surprise me with things they know, say, and do. I am about as proud as a mother can be without positively bursting at the seams. I love them and my family is my world.
But, let’s be honest. Who wants to read a mother’s gushings about her little angels? I mean, really!
So, with that in mind (you know, the fact that they really are good kids), I just have to get this off my chest.
I picked Kendra up from her second day of kindergarten today then went and picked up Maxwell. Things were going well, so I thought we’d stop by Ingles on the way home to pick up a few things for dinner and tomorrow’s lunch.
When I pulled in the parking lot and saw the front “mothers with children” parking slot vacant, I thought it was going to be a fantastic trip to the market.

I got out of the car and went to the passenger’s side to get the kids.
Those of you who know Ingles, know that it is a rare occurance for that valued front space to be open, and that it would only be open if the parking lot were relatively empty. Such was the case today. Parking spaces galore.
That didn’t stop an old bat driving a classy oversized luxury car from wanting the slot adjacent to mine, even though I was clearly standing there with the doors open trying to put my daughter’s sneakers on her feet.
She inched her way into the slot, eyeballing me the whole time, so I courteously closed the door enough for her to park.
The lady could clearly see what I was doing. Last time I checked, it only takes a matter of minutes to put shoes on a child. She obviously didn’t have a minute because she threw her car in park and immediately tried to open her door though my door was blocking the way.
I was courteous once. This was too much. I gathered my kids, and quickly zapped the impatient lady with my laser-vision-I-reserve-for-the-most-annoying-of-individuals and walked my children into the store.
Little did I know, my problems would not end there.
I got a buggy to put my purchases in and Max immediately jumped on the prime spot on the front so he wouldn’t have to walk through the store. Kendra (who I feel compelled to say is very overtired both physically and emotionally from starting school this week), instantly broke down crying and whining/screaming that it was not fair for Max to get to ride. Her feet hurt. Sneakers make her feet hot. Blah, blah, blah, wah, wah, wah. You get the idea.
Well, in the process of trying to stop her from shattering the glass windows in Ingles with her shrill, piercing screams, I guess I may have maneuvered that buggy a bit too enthusiatically and, well, I threw my son off.
He landed on the floor and of course screamed louder than his older sister was.
Lovely.
Once again, those of you who know my son, know his unique talent of being able to vomit on command. Since Kendra’s screams were still louder than his, he pulled out the big guns and barfed all over me and himself.
Yep.
I took those two little buggers to the restroom, cleaned them up, chewed them out a bit, then gave up on the whole grocery shopping endeavor for the night.
When we were leaving the store, Max shirtless and both of them afriad to cry anymore, I had to step over an ever-so-small spot of vomit in the deli department (and that, incidentally, is why you should never eat off the floor in public places). I sincerely hoped that my new dear friend from the parking lot wouldn’t be so unfortunate as to step in it.
We got in the car, with no incident this time, and left.
I still don’t know what we are going to eat for dinner.