mandyholbert

A glimpse into our family – the good, the bad, and, of course, the funny

Why I am Late for Work – Excuse # 76 September 30, 2012

It was already “one of those” mornings.  I was running behind schedule and nothing seemed to be going right.  I still needed to pack lunches, feed the kids breakfast, get them both ready, and I hoped to have time to fix my hair and put make-up on for the day…

Kendra ran into my room with a terrible look on her face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I don’t want to tell you because I’m afraid you’ll be mad,” she answered with a trembling bottom lip.

“No, I won’t,” I said, even though I knew there was a distinct possibility that whatever she was going to say could very easily make me mad.  I started running through possible scenarios in my head.

“My hamster DIED!” she wailed and immediately started bawling.  “I.  went.  in.  to.  feed.  her.  and,” she explained in between dramatic sobs, “she was DEAD!”

RIP little guy

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.”  I pulled her into my arms and tried to comfort her as she cried.

Then, Max walked in.  He looked at his crying sister then at me then back at her.  He shrugged his shoulders and said, “You should have been more responsible.”  I glared at him as fresh howls came out of Kendra.

“Maxwell Trenton!  Get out of here!” I yelled.

“It’s all my fault,” Kendra kept crying.

Arg.

I tried to comfort her and still get things done since we did have school and work to try to get to on time.  I sent her to brush her teeth.

I rushed around the house like a wild woman, throwing lunches together and banging things around.  I could hear Max singing in the back of the house, but it didn’t register exactly what song he had chosen for the morning.

Then, when I heard Kendra start yelling, I realized what that little rascal was singing at the top of his lungs.  That’s right.  None other than “Another One Bites the Dust.”

How fitting.

If that’s not a reason to be late for work, I don’t know what is.

it was fun for a while…

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Search That! April 10, 2012

Filed under: blogging,family,humor — mandyholbert @ 5:53 am
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

People have arrived at my blog with several very unusual Google searches.  My favorites so far are…

ugly scene kids,

march 10, 2012 mudwrestling,

i will be late to work in the morning,

snot nose babe,

girl building treehouse,

flushed tetra,

i have littered,

redneck activities in ohio,

it’s wednesday wake up and get it together, and

fake campfire.

Some of these baffle me a little bit.  What are these people thinking?  Some of them I understand a little better than others.

For instance, take “ugly scene kids” – I can imagine a frazzled mom somewhere just home from a particularly bad grocery shopping trip wondering if she’s alone in the world.  Surely, there are kids out there as bad as hers.  So she Googles it to make herself feel better.

The “march 10, 2012 mudwrestling” is a little weird.  Unless somewhere in the world there was a mudwrestling tournament that lasted several days, and some Googler somewhere missed the March 10 match and needed to know the stats.  I’m sure that’s what it was.

“I will be late to work in the morning.”  Hmmm…did this person really think this was the way to let his employer know?  Google doesn’t really work that way.  Hope he figured that out and made that all-important phone call.

“Snot nose babe” – weird.  Weird if they meant a baby, and even weirder if they meant a babe as in a swimsuit model.  I know people can have inexplicable fetishes, but snot – really?

“Redneck activities in ohio” was easy to figure out.  Obviously, a redneck from South Carolina was sitting around with his buddies and they were a little bored.  Hey, I wonder what activities rednecks participate in in Ohio?

I feel kind of bad for the person who Googled “it’s wednesday wake up and get it together.” I think he could seriously benefit from some motivational CDs, a little less alcohol, and maybe a puppy.  Hope that day turned out okay.

In the spirit of self-promotion, I am now going to write some phrases that I’m positive will be searched in the near future by some of the readers who stumbled upon my blog with the aforementioned phrases.  I am trying to build my readership, after all.  So, here’s to my newfound friends, the unusual Google searchers:

kids worse than mine

mudwrestling championship match

i won’t be at work today because i’m sick

hot actresses caught with slimy boogers hanging from nose

redneck activities in canada (I’m sure those guys have finished the fifty states by now…)

it’s friday stop being such a lazy bum get a life i need a friend or a puppy.

I can’t wait for my Googling friends to see what I’ve done to entice them to my blog.  Happy searching!

Oh, and Googling friends, once you do find me again – the surefire way to find this blog again is to follow it!