mandyholbert

A glimpse into our family – the good, the bad, and, of course, the funny

Why I am a Bad Friend May 20, 2012

Filed under: Confessions,family,humor,parenting,Uncategorized — mandyholbert @ 10:08 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I am a bad friend.  Here’s why:

1.  When I say I will attend your _____________, I probably won’t.  Time is more valuable to me than money, and while I don’t have much money, I have even less time.  If you want me to attend your event, plan to serve a meal and invite my whole family – then we will likely come.  Unless, of course, it’s one of those at-home shopping parties where you try to pressure me into buying things because I’m obligated as your friend.  That is very uncomfortable.  I’d rather just give you some cash and avoid the inevitable flipping through the catalog pages to find something I can almost afford.

2. I won’t (not can’t) remember your birthday, anniversary, your kids’ birthdays, or any other important day.  I can barely remember my own kids’ birthdays.  I don’t expect you to do anything for mine, and I’m not going to do anything for yours.  What did you expect?  This is about why I am a bad friend, remember?  Did you think I was going to promise to bake you a cake from scratch every year on your special day?  Sorry to disappoint.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

3. I don’t talk on the phone.  If you have something to tell me, keep it short and sweet, otherwise you’ve lost me.  And even during that short conversation, I’m going to be cooking, cleaning, painting my toe nails, or something else productive because I don’t have time to sit and chat all night.

4. If you make me feel guilty about anything, I’m not going to talk to you any more.  Well, I’ll talk to you when I see you, but I won’t go out of my way.  I don’t like being manipulated.  Oh, and I also don’t like gossip.  Or husband bashing.  That kind of limits the conversation for many people.

5. If your kid is mean, I’m not going to hang out with you.

6. My family comes first.  That includes not only my little family, but also my parents and my sisters.  And the rest of my family.  Even the ones I don’t like.  Just kidding, but not really.  Ha-ha!

7. I probably won’t call you back.  And if I do, I will try to do so at a time when I think you are least likely to answer your phone.

8. I only get along with people who have very low expectations for a friend.  I work full-time, I am a mom and a wife, I have a household to run, I have bills to pay, I have animals and a yard to take care of, I have meals to cook, I have laundry to do, and I’m constantly behind on everything.  Please don’t expect much from me.  Just take me as I am.

So, if you can put up with all of this, I am the perfect friend for you.  Please, don’t all call at once.

Not that it matters, because I’m not likely to answer the phone anyway.

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19 Responses to “Why I am a Bad Friend”

  1. mitman64 Says:

    I think we can definitely be friends! I agree –> family first

  2. You sound like the perfect friend – no second guessing, no fuss, and definitely no party plan selling!!!

  3. sherbear64 Says:

    Bummer, I really enjoyed those homemade birthday cakes! And you have to put up with me, I’m your mother!

  4. betsyk1 Says:

    That’s awesome. I loved it. At least you seem to have time for your on-line friends. Ah, blogs–a great way to make friends you never see or talk to in person. Perfect for the busy mom!

    • mandyholbert Says:

      It helps that blogging can be done late at night or early in the morning. For instance, it’s 5:30 in the morning right now. Not a great time for a phone call!

  5. ghfool Says:

    I had little need for people until I became a Zombie. Now I can’t get enough interaction with humans.

  6. Tabitha Says:

    Awesome! I’ve often wanted to say that out load for myself.

  7. Teresa Cleveland Wendel Says:

    Sometimes when a friend says she has something to drop by my house, I offer to save her the trip and come pick it up myself. Some people don’t know when to leave……and there goes my day!!! I get complaints that I never answer messages left on the machine. That’s because I never check my messages. They’re always so L O N G and rambling.

    • mandyholbert Says:

      I’m glad I’m not the only one. I feel like I may have exaggerated a little bit. I love to do nice things for people – I just like to do it on my own terms. Not when it’s expected from me. But I really do hate talking on the phone! And I’m totally with you on the “I can drop that by for you and save you the trip” thing! Genius!

  8. ❤ this post! I am a bad friend for almost all the same reasons. My best friends are the ones who can come over to my house while I'm doing laundry and dusting and still have a great time just talking and hanging out with me. I do like to go out of my way for some occasions, but I just can't commit to everything. Being that busy is good way to keep the weedy friends from getting into your well-pruned, drought-resistant, shade, heat, sun-tolerant garden of REAL friends.

  9. DM Says:

    Loved it! I call it setting boundaries…I (had) a “friend” who loved to drop by about twice a month on the weekends…the conversations were 80% him talking…did NOT take the non-verbal ques when it came time for me to take a nap, etc. I put up with this far longer than I should have…finally sent him an e-mail telling him every 6 to 8 weeks was often enough….that was in February..haven’t seen him since..that was 3 months ago. I did send him an e-mail and leave a message on his phone which he has not replied to…I’m not initiating again..period. In fact, I’m LOVING the peace and quiet and not dreading his old car pulling into our driveway….you sound like a great friend 🙂 DM

    • mandyholbert Says:

      Some people are just selfish, I guess. A real friend would understand that nap time on the weekends is essential! And you’re right, it’s all about setting boundaries and then not feeling guilty when things don’t work out. Thanks for reading!


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