mandyholbert

A glimpse into our family – the good, the bad, and, of course, the funny

Confession: I Have Killed March 21, 2012

Filed under: Confessions,family,humor,parenting — mandyholbert @ 5:13 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,

My neighbor’s dog bit my daughter.  Of course, that meant war.

The dog terrorized us every chance it got.  We could not check our mail.  The kids couldn’t play outside in peace.  Our own dog was even afraid of that ferocious beagle-mix.  It chased my car with teeth bared every time I left my driveway.

One day, I had enough.  I had tried all the reasonable methods to take care of the problem.  Nothing reasonable worked.  And this was war.

When I pulled out of my driveway this time, I saw the dog come running towards my car.  I saw its bloodshot eyes and the slobber dangling from the growling mouth already poised to bite whatever got in its way.

It charged my car.  I made a split-second decision.  I decided to obey something I remembered from driver’s ed as a teenager.  When an animal runs in front of you, only run off the road or hit your brakes if it is safe to do so.  Well, it wasn’t. This war had to end.  This dog was playing chicken with the wrong girl.

Thu-wump.

Let the record state, I did not accelerate.  I did not swerve towards the animal.  I did not, in any way, try to hit the dog.  I simply didn’t try not to hit the dog.

I stopped my car and looked around.  I got out and walked back to where the dog (the dog who bit my child) lay in the road.

A neighbor appeared out of no where.

What I thought: Ding, dong the witch is dead!  The wicked witch, the wicked witch!  Ding, dong the wicked witch is dead!  

What I said:  Oh dear!  I think I broke its leg or something.

The neighbor looked at the dog, looked at me, and looked back at the dog as if considering if I were really that stupid.  “That dog is about to take its last breath,” and as if on cue, the dog deflated.

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13 Responses to “Confession: I Have Killed”

  1. MryAnnB Says:

    Great entry…. Sorry she ws bitten and you’ve been bullied and terrorized for so long by this angry lil inflatable gudge-carrying canine! RIP Rover- mab

  2. sherbear64 Says:

    Ok, that’s enough with the confessions! Don’t want you being hauled off to jail! On the other hand, think of the stories you could write about then………………;)

  3. Jennetcetera Says:

    Oh, you have absoultely cracked me up, you are hilarious and I definitely need to learn from you 🙂

    • mandyholbert Says:

      Thanks so much! I’m not sure I’m exactly the person to take parenting lessons from…unless you’re learning from my mistakes so you don’t make them yourself! Thanks for reading!

  4. mitman64 Says:

    I agree with Mom! Who knows who may be reading your material????

  5. Kathleen Says:

    Oh, my! I sympathize 100%. But what happened next? That is the question!

    • mandyholbert Says:

      The very kind neighbor took care of burying the dog for me. The dog had a very miserable existance anyway. One could argue that I put her out of her misery.

  6. Caddo Veil Says:

    I know I’m not supposed to laugh at this, but I can’t help it–it’s funny. Hey, thanks for visiting my blog–I hope you find it worth coming back to (some of it’s amusing…). God bless you and your family–have a blessed Easter.

  7. They say confession is good for the soul. I agree with the mixed emotions – I’m sorry an animal had to die, but I’m also sorry that it was allowed to terrorize you and your family.

    • mandyholbert Says:

      The dog was definitely neglected. One time when I pulled out of the driveway, it was in a makeshift kennel (if you can even call it that), and it had somehow gotten its collar caught on the top of the wiring and it was literally hanging itself. I got out of my car and unhooked the collar to stop it from choking to death. The owners really neglected the dog which turned the dog into a very mean, mean creature. It was a miserable existence. I’m not proud that I killed it, and it truly wasn’t intentional, but at least it ended the neglect it faced on a daily basis.

  8. Wow. That is hardcore. Do you take out voles too? We have a boatload destroying our back yard at the moment. =)


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