The fish tank was fun for, oh, about six months. Then it just got to be downright annoying. Fish kept dying for no apparent reason. We’d buy more, they’d die. Once Max’s favorite guppie Mr. Winnypig died too and we were down to just two fish in the giant aquarium, I decided no more fish tank for us.
I often do things like this when Ronnie isn’t home. I fished the last two survivors out with the net and put them in a bubble vase while I finished draining the water and dismantling their habitat.
When I finally finished, I contemplated what to do with the white tetra and black tetra that were left. I know I should have just flushed them and been done with it, but somehow that just didn’t seem fair. So, I waited for Ronnie to let him do it.
He would not flush those fish. He didn’t want to be the one to kill them, either. We argued about it for weeks. While we continued trying to talk each other into killing the fish, their state of happiness declined rather noticeably.
After all, they were used to a thirty gallon tank with places to go and other fish to see and a nice bubble feature. The vase just wasn’t the same. And since we kept it in the bathroom (close to the commode), it fogged up every time we took a shower and it developed a little film of hair product on the surface of the water.
We both just wanted them to die so we could flush the bodies. How did they keep living!? These two fish really were survivors. Very annoying.
Finally, after my mother accused us of having a concentration camp for fish, I knew I had to “man up” and flush the fish.
Once again, I waited until Ronnie wasn’t home.
I carefully poured the fish into the toilet. The poor white tetra landed on its side and did not even have the energy left to return to an upright position. Clearly, I was doing the mature, responsible, humane, and righteous thing by putting them out of their misery.
I looked at them in my toilet.
And I couldn’t do it.
“Kendra!” I called. “Do you want to flush the fish?”
She looked in the toilet. Looked at me (a little accusingly, if you ask me). Shrugged her shoulders and flushed the fish.
I know, I know. But what can I say? At least it’s done…